a sad day

Two days ago, California voted in order to ban homosexuals from marrying, casting a very dark cloud over the otherwise monumental, joyful, and inspirational victory of our next president Barack Obama. Yes, Florida and Arizona passed similar measures as I would expect from such states… but California?!? I held you in a higher esteem. I have always stood by you, believed in you, defended you when you faltered, and was proud to call you home. But this week, you failed me.

The past 8 years in our country have at times caused me to be embarrassed to call myself American, skewing the term patriot to personally contain negative connotations. When meeting someone from another country I would often say “Yes, I’m American, BUT…” as a preemptive defense for what I considered an imminent and justified accusation. I’d have to delve into why someone like Bush could become president in my country, why we go to war for such causes and not for others, or why we treat the world as our plaything, explaining that the country is split up into very distinct sections where the peoples’ sentiments lie all over the spectrum. But California- you were always my trump card. I could fall back on you easily, explaining that “Hey… I’m from California, and we’re not like that.” There’s not a person in the world that hasn’t heard of California and her splendor, and being from California instantly gained me some respect. I was content with considering myself more “Californian” than American. Until now…

Never have I ever felt ashamed of you, California. Never have I ever felt anything but pride. Even after electing an (awful) actor as our governor, somehow I always believed things would turn out okay. People would question me, but I felt there was nothing to defend, because California was still as it was. We still had the beaches, the big cities, the diversity – all the things that made us so admired. Nothing was going to change how I felt about my home.

But this, California, is unforgivable. It is a law I truly don’t understand. Even the support for racial segregation made more sense to me, because at least then, it was the ignorant white power who felt that having black people in the classroom/restaurant/bus was affecting them in some unknown way. I would love for someone to explain to me how a wedding affects anyone, ANYONE, besides those getting married, because even the incomprehensible racial segregation argument doesn’t come close. I’m not talking about the tax/insurance reasons or logistical reasons, but the actual concept of homosexuals being married has nothing to do with one single other person outside of the two exchanging vows. No one is forcing the supporters of Prop 8 to come to any weddings or ever meet a gay person in their entire lives if they so choose, but what reasons could you possibly have that a fellow human being cannot marry the person they love. I feel like it would be amazing justification if every individual who voted yes had to go to the home of a gay couple and tell them to their face, “Your marriage to the one you love is no longer valid, nor will I give you the opportunity to marry if you haven’t already done so, because I think you are less of a person than I am.” By restricting someone’s rights, by saying that you can do something that someone else can’t, means that you do not see them as an equal.

Aghh... I feel like I am currently 50 years in the future, reading these results in a history book. I am 100% positive this will be looked back upon in 50 to 100 years as all other civil rights atrocities, asking ourselves “How did we possibly ever think that was okay? How did we allow that to happen?” It’s like in 2008 seeing a picture of a water fountain marked “colored” next to one marked “white”. It’s become a spectacle, because to my generation this idea seems preposterous. And I don’t see how Prop 8 is any less preposterous. To me it’s exactly the same as saying people with blond hair can’t marry, or Mexican-Americans, or blind people can’t marry. Is it because homosexual couples can’t have children? Then should we say sterile people can’t marry? No, because wouldn’t that be violating the Declaration of Independence stating that all men are created equal? Yet, it seems the dim 53% of our state gets to choose where and when the church’s doctrines take precedence over our nation’s core principles.

Perhaps what pains me most is that it comes on the heels of, in my mind, our nation’s most significant civil rights victory to date. America has spoken with resounding enthusiasm that we are prepared to have a black person as our leader and as our representative to the rest of the world, and I don’t see any other mass statement more powerful that says we have changed. And yet… the same person who goes to their voting booth, patting themselves on the back because they just voted for an African-American for president, can turn the page and mark yes to limit the rights of a specific population of fellow citizens. This is just as big of a step backwards as it is forwards for civil rights in my mind. It’s depressing to be proud of how far we’ve come, only to realize we haven’t accomplished much at all. I see it as a sign that nothing’s changed, and maybe nothing will ever change in our battle for equality. After homosexuals, we will find another population to discriminate against, and start the cycle again. As long as people are still oppressed, no one is ever truly free.